Illustration by Hannah Hopper

 

Every once in a while a sex act gets such a huge amount of attention that it almost seems like someone just invented it. Of course there is nothing new under the sun, and the G-spot and female ejaculation have been around forever. However, the current focus on them has yielded a lot of solid G-spot information, and that’s great! Knowledge is sexy! The G-spot’s popularity however also puts a lot of pressure on women and their partners to “hit the spot” or try like hell until they have some “new,” splashy orgasm. Pressure to perform is not so sexy and can get in the way of joy in the moment. Getting past the hype and pressure is the first step toward sexual self-discovery.

Everyone with female sexual parts has a G-spot. Women’s sexual anatomy may all be the same, but that doesn’t mean our sexual responses are. One woman may get the thrill of her lifetime when she stimulates her G-spot, and it may become the best entrée in her sexual meal. Sex up another woman in exactly the same way and she may say, “Eh, that’s not for me. Let’s go back to my clit/nipples/ass/toes…”

Are you wired for G-spot orgasm, or do you enjoy other sensations more? There’s only one way to find out. Here are some tips to help you explore the spot and get to know your sex preferences a little better. Remember, keep an easygoing attitude, and you’ll have way more fun!

First off, before you get too far into your explorations, pee. If you eventually reach the point where you may ejaculate for the first time, you are going to feel like you need to pee. That’s how it feels. Eliminate that possibility so you can relax and let your body do what it wants to in the moment.

Now, the “G-spot” is the name of the area on the vaginal wall through which you can feel the urethral sponge. You can feel it by putting your fingers into your vagina and caressing the front wall. About an inch or two in, you’ll feel the smooth flesh give way to more crinkly, rough skin. This is your urethra and the spongy tissue that surrounds it is under that crinkly skin. That tissue swells when you get aroused, so try using a vibrator and fantasizing about great sex to get turned on before starting your exploration. Your swollen G-spot will be a lot easier to find! Also, some women find G-Spot stimulation irritating if they’re not in a fully sexed up state before they go for it. So, do whatever it takes to get aroused.

To reach and stimulate your G-spot comfortably, you need a toy, or a friend, or both. You can feel it with your own hand, but it’s not very comfortable to stay in that position for long. Most G-spot toys have a curve. The curve points right at the front wall of the vagina, so you can push and stroke that spot to your heart’s content. Try using a scooping motion, dragging the toy across the front wall of your vagina on its way out. That’s one way to make your G-spot purr. (Curved or knobbed toys work well and come in a variety of sizes and price points; you can find them at Babeland).

Most women find that their G-spot responds to firm, rhythmic pressure. Sound familiar? Yes, that’s the motion of getting it on. There are a few sexual positions you can use with a partner that put the G-spot right into the path of the penis or dildo your sweetheart is using. Woman on top or doggy style are two positions that give you a good shot. These positions also leave plenty of room to pay attention to your clit. Don’t neglect her! Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm no matter what else is going on.

Take notice of whatever new sensations come. If you don’t like what you’re feeling, take a break, or cross G-spotting off your list for now. If you feel good, and if you feel like you might pee, take a leap and let go! You may really enjoy what comes next. Sex is fun, it’s powerful, and it’s a lifelong pursuit. Keep your self-love and self-acceptance at hand at all times and you can’t go wrong.